irony

i just realise my blog title is "a place you can be mellow"

but then i read my blog,there's nothin bout it that's mellow...

its all whining n complaints n i hate this,i hate that..im upset bout this,she making me feel this..
i feel inadequate...bla bla bla bla

im sick of this shiiittt....harris,JD,jackal...i need u guys man

oh n im sorry if i ever WA HAI SEI/SENG..didnt mean it

question?

how do u possibly go from one state of mind to another in just hours?

i was fine dis morning..average day,average life..den after dinner it change..
i had that feeling again..of loneliness

n the mature state of mind i had before suddenly fell to pieces..
i read one of my post not too long ago,i sound so matured.like i've gotten rid of this prob,like i can dodge it anytime it comes..

but the state i am now,looks like i was wrong..as much as i want to,i cant seem to go back to that state..n that annoys me...why cant i just grow up,im fucking 18 with a vague vision in life...

i always let these little things get in my way,disturb my focus..WHY THE FUCK???!!!

see what i tell u,if i write my blog all i do is complain..i guess that's the common ground or medium,one of the reasons people write blogs,to vent out their dissappointments,anger,n upsets...

ok this is getting too long,simply put..u caused it..when u called i realise that i had nothing to talk to u,n it upsets me cuz im trying to make things work again..for the 3 or 4th time..

its not working clearly,ur not interested to talk to me at all..u rarely think bout me,heck i dont think u'd even wonder how im feeling rite now eventho i just text u just now...ur busy online but u cant even reply my msg...

everytime i get a msg from u,my heart skips a beat..how i wish u felt the same..

why cant u just take the exit out of my life..