irony

i just realise my blog title is "a place you can be mellow"

but then i read my blog,there's nothin bout it that's mellow...

its all whining n complaints n i hate this,i hate that..im upset bout this,she making me feel this..
i feel inadequate...bla bla bla bla

im sick of this shiiittt....harris,JD,jackal...i need u guys man

oh n im sorry if i ever WA HAI SEI/SENG..didnt mean it

question?

how do u possibly go from one state of mind to another in just hours?

i was fine dis morning..average day,average life..den after dinner it change..
i had that feeling again..of loneliness

n the mature state of mind i had before suddenly fell to pieces..
i read one of my post not too long ago,i sound so matured.like i've gotten rid of this prob,like i can dodge it anytime it comes..

but the state i am now,looks like i was wrong..as much as i want to,i cant seem to go back to that state..n that annoys me...why cant i just grow up,im fucking 18 with a vague vision in life...

i always let these little things get in my way,disturb my focus..WHY THE FUCK???!!!

see what i tell u,if i write my blog all i do is complain..i guess that's the common ground or medium,one of the reasons people write blogs,to vent out their dissappointments,anger,n upsets...

ok this is getting too long,simply put..u caused it..when u called i realise that i had nothing to talk to u,n it upsets me cuz im trying to make things work again..for the 3 or 4th time..

its not working clearly,ur not interested to talk to me at all..u rarely think bout me,heck i dont think u'd even wonder how im feeling rite now eventho i just text u just now...ur busy online but u cant even reply my msg...

everytime i get a msg from u,my heart skips a beat..how i wish u felt the same..

why cant u just take the exit out of my life..

morning sorrows

oh boy,here it comes again..

i cant help myself..
i cant stop looking at u
cant stop thinking of u

STOP!!!.. its harder than u think,everytime i push u away u just keep coming back.

i wish i never met u,so that i wouldn't be hurting everytime i think of u..
n what we could've been.

yes i miss u..

ur eyes..ur laugh..ur voice is enough to make me smile

ur smile..captivating
ur touch..sensuating
ur presence..exhilarating

yes u've change both emotionally and physically since we met,but i still feel the same butterflies in my stomach..
for all i know it could've gotten worse.

life is cruel,us not being together..for if u were my queen i'd make sure everyday is in honor of u..
oh yes,life is cruel..

is there another chance for me,everytime i see a glance of hope,i dont know what to do..
grab it n i'll fall again..
ignore it n i'll lose out.

oh yes,i miss u baby :(

im back :)

well wat can i say,i feel like blogging again

currently im having intersession at my uni,feels great..

except i still haven't started studying..fuck!

had a blast during d one week hols,have to say the best time was when i went up to genting
fucking awesome ya'll..i owe it to my bro's-harris,JD n Jackal..

these never stop believing in me,even after all those k.o shots..hahahahahaha
good times :)

life's great so far,just that a guy is missing the one ultimate excitement in his life,ya'll know what that is..but hey im in no rush to get one,im pretty fine with what i got now,but i gotta admit,could be better definitely..

wtv la..make the best of what u have is what they always say..besides i gotta do like those other guys do,focus on more important things in life,like education,frens(real frens)..then everything will fall into place,well not everything la..

things are finally looking up,im getting the freedom i always wanted,my parents arent gonna be home for a long time,my sis n bro dont seem to mind my use or misuse of freedom,i guess they agree with me too that i need it..

but money is a REAL bitch to this freedom,its flowing out like water man..FUCK!
comes in like dust,flows out like water..hahaha my analogies are ridicule..

i guess u can say im starting to grow up,learning that i gotta step up. be that man/boy that can carry himself,with confidence n a perseverance that is even more tougher than a concrete+steel aloi..wtv that is...

ooh i play rugby better now,its true,practise does make perfect..
but alotta practise apparently..HAHAHA

gtg,eyelids are closing,commencing shut down
damn i sound like a computer program..maybe i should try this

till later,chiowz(haven't used that one since high school)

here's why

here's why i dont blog no more(well not lately)..

1. lazy

2. nobody reads it anyway

3. i dont feel like telling people what happens everyday in my life

4. those that need to know also end up being told anyway

5. i realise with a blog i whine alot..too much - so thats gone

-the end-

yummmy

this is what i am   ..

cool huh :)